"One or More Players Have Disconnected" LOL ROFLMAO BBQ

 

Yo. Nintendo. Fix your fucking servers my God. I’ve been trying to play Splatoon 3 all fucking morning and all I keep getting is “One or more players have disconnected.” “Communication error.” Or when I finally get into a game “One or more players have been disconnected, this will not count as a loss for you” bullshit. So what if one person disconnects, just let us play, I’ve won numerous matches being short handed in plenty of other games. Less people for the enemy team to shoot at, more for us. I have not had this much trouble trying to play a multiplayer game since Modern Warfare 2 and their NAT type bullshit. And don’t start giving me the “it’s on your end” bullshit. I’ve got my Switch connected to an Ethernet cable and my internet is pushing 200+mbp/s so don’t even try. It’s 2023 for crying out loud, figure it out. For your basically only competitive game I think you’d have this shit ironed out. What else do you have? Mario Kart? I don’t think Pokemon really does all that much random competitiveness but I guess I could be wrong, not my scene. Pretty sure Arms is dead, probably a few people here and there. Oh, Smash, how could I forget about Smash? God forbid. So your second most competitive game. FIGURE. IT. OUT.

I’ve been really trying to play Splatoon 3. I really did like Arms when it came out, I was getting pretty into it but I basically played it alone, no one else was into it like I was and that’s no fun so I just stopped. I was really digging Splatoon 2 at the time but I feel like Monster Hunter or something else came out not long after so my friends lost interest in Splatoon 2 relatively quickly but God damn it I will experience Splatoon 3 to the best of my abilities this time around!

From what I’ve gathered from the ol’ interwebs here is Splatoon 3 is using a new server, for whatever that’s worth but they are still using a peer-to-peer system. Whhhhyyyyyy??? That’s some WarCraft 2 era technology, fucking get rid of it! Playing with people from all over the God damn Earth over here for crying out loud. God damn. It’s shit like this that make people not play your games. In my searching of people being upset with the online scene I’ve seen plenty of people saying these issues have pushed them away from the game. Cock bites. Saw a video also about “how to fix disconnects” and all it does is show you how to delete the game so what does that tell you Nintendo?

Salmon Run is driving me fucking nuts. I want this life jacket. I just want it. Don’t know why, but I do but it’s a fucking pain in the cock to get. In Splatoon 3 and even in 2 there weren’t any tops I was really attached to. I just would wear whatever had an ability I liked but I was never in love with anything. In 3 I really like the Pearl and Marina amiibo clothes but this life jacket calls to me. I’ve not once beat a King Salmonid yet, got very close with a Cohozuna but the Horrorboros can suck my dick. Playing Salmon Run this morning and getting high tides while using a paintbrush is fucking balls dude. What do you want me to do with this? There’s a Steelhead here, hello people, I can’t hit this with my brush, shoot this please. The missile launching mother fuckers are the bane of my existence too. Fuck off with that shit.

Another thing that kind of pisses me off Nintendo, why do you make all your events on the same God damn weekend? Hey there’s a Splatfest happening this weekend! Oh but there’s also a Samurott Tera-raid event in Pokemon too! And he’s kind of a bitch so good luck catching it with a group of people! Taking time away from you that you could be spending playing Splatfest and getting chunks for your splatfest shirt! Have fun now!

Fuck. Sorry, there was a lot of cussing today but that’s what happens when your shit doesn’t work. Maybe you should give us some of our NSO money back if we’re going to be the “servers” Nintendo. I don’t know if it’s because school is out right now in the US so there’s all these little shits trying to play on their crappy wifi or someone doesn’t “booyah” back so they kick their Switch. Idk, but it’s fucking stupid and I’m sick of it. What about you reader? You play Splatoon 3? Do you have problems? Do you not? Do you play something else that does have problems? Do you want to rage at Splatoon with me? Let me know below and if this doesn’t cause me to ram my head against a literal brick wall I’ll catch you again next time. BYEBYE. Not you Nintendo. Fuck you.

@AztecSauce

                                                                                                        From Summer Wars




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